Suggestions/options for the family:
Options During Birth/Hospital Stay
Make Memories
Spend time with your baby, bring a special baby toy, or blanket or outfit (if it’s not too big)
Get Photos
You can either take some yourself, or if you prefer, you can search for a volunteer professional photographer to take photos through the organization Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.
To search for a NILMDTS photographer, click here.
Cuddle Cot
A Cuddle Cot is cooling bed that allows families to spend longer saying hello and goodbye to their babies following stillbirth or neonatal loss. Available locally at Mercy Hospital and SSM St. Mary’s Hospital.
Ask for What You Need
A quiet room away from other L&D/recovery rooms might be what you need. Some hospitals may also put a particular symbol on the door to your room indicating to staff that your family has experienced a loss. If you’d like to do skin-to-skin time, or bathe your baby, ask for it. Or ask a friend or family member to advocate for you.
Mental & Emotional Support
Mercy Hospital’s Heart Prints support
Support offered to families experiencing miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth or neonatal death
Click for more information.
SSM Health MOM’s Warm Line
Peer-to-peer phone support for baby blues/depression/anxiety
314-768-MOMS (6667)
Click for more information.
Resolve St. Louis
Infertility support
In-person meetings monthly meetings third Tuesday of each month, at Brentwood Public Library
and Facebook support group for St. Louis
Resolve is also a national organization, if you’re looking for local chapters outside of St. Louis, use their map to find other support groups here.
St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute
Therapy/counseling, including in-group psychologist if medications are warranted.
SLBMI specifically has a program called “Women’s Reproductive Mental Health and Wellness Program” (my apologies for the cisgendered language, this is what they call the program). The program centers on multiple perinatal aspects, including: Postpartum depression, anxiety, or stress; Miscarriage and pregnancy loss; and Infertility. There is an intake process that will match you with a professional that is experienced with your specific needs and who may be part of your insurance plan, if applicable.
Click for more information.
Gina Rocchio-Gymer | Wellness Within Counseling
Click for more information.
Physical Support
Postpartum Doula Support
Postpartum Doulas are able to provide many care options for you, from assisting with helping you move around as you recover from birth, run errands, make sure you eat, help make you aware of your options, connect you with other support and resources. If you prefer someone with training in supporting families in loss, look for someone trained in this area. Within Purple Lotus Doulas, Becca Marshall is a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Advocate.
Options if Lactation Occurs
Information on Lactation Suppression after loss
Options for Milk Donation and Stillbirth, Neonatal Loss and Infant Loss
Suggestions/options for friends and loved ones to support a grieving family:
Any of the options in the above section that you are able to take care of on behalf of the family (with their permission), or if you aren’t close enough to know what the family might need/want, connect with someone who is and ask them.
Meal Train/Meal Calendar
Set up a calendar for family and friends to bring food so that the grieving family doesn’t have to worry about feeding themselves. Don’t forget to include any pertinent details about about food allergies and any other dietary needs and preferences.
To create an easy, online meal train, click here.
Molly Bears/Weighted Stuffed Animals
Molly Bears are weighted teddy bears for families coping with any form of infant loss. For a mother/gestational parent to birth a baby and then have empty arms can be very difficult. A weighted doll/stuffed animal gives something to hold. Click for more information.
If you need something more quickly than a Molly Bear, you might consider buying some weighted beads from Michael’s or other craft store and going to Build-a-Bear.
Honor the Baby and the Loss
Call the baby by the name the parents give to him/her. Honor their birthday in future years. Honor holidays, including Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, unless they tell you otherwise.
Inquiry Form
Email